Christmas Cooking Catastrophe
by Danni1989
Summary: Damon and Elena have Caroline and Stefan over for dinner. Damon tries to distract Elena and they ruin the turkey. Rated M Written for the LJ A2A exchange for Katy5219


Written for the LJ A2A holiday exchange for a prompt written by Katy5219. I hope you like this and sorry its so late.

Prompt: Elena and Damon have Stefan and Caroline over for Christmas dinner. As Elena's cooking, Damon distracts her and they *ahem* manage to ruin the turkey because of it xD It can honestly be either M/NC-17 or PG-13 (I don't want to limit anyone), but given the context, a mature approach might work better!

* * *

"Damon, stop it!" Elena reprimanded her husband of exactly one year.

"But I don't want to. It's our anniversary we should be spending it like this, not hosting Christmas dinner for Salvatore couple version 2." Damon whined.

"It's our turn to host. That was the deal Damon, now we have to get up. Also technically we're Salvatore couple version 2." She urged trying to extricate herself from his iron grip.

" We're the new and improved version. Much more entertaining, and much hotter than Stefan and Caroline... ergo Version 1. Why can't Caroline and Stefan host this year, and we take next year?" He whined, still trailing kisses up her neck.

"Just because... it would be the same result next year. No matter what year we're supposed to host, it will still fall on our anniversary." She explained while trying to remain strong and ignore his advances.

"Probably, why can't we host Christmas Day dinner and they host Christmas Eve?" He suggested, wrapping his arms even tighter around her and grinding his naked lower body into hers.

"Damon, Stefan and Caroline spend Christmas Day with Liz and we're spending it with Jeremy and Bonnie. No matter how you look at it, we have to get up, get dressed and make the turkey." She ordered rolling her eyes at her husband.

"But I don't wanna. I want to do what we've been doing since last night." He probed.

"No, you have to let me up or else you won't get any at all tonight." Elena snapped trying desperately to unwind his arms from around her.

"Ugh fine. You ruin all my fun." He sighed rolling onto his back.

"Are you coming or not?" She asked sitting up.

"Apparently not." He sulked.

"You have no room to complain mister. We've been having sex since we came up here last night, minus a few hours of sleep. Now I'm going downstairs and putting the turkey in the oven, so when Stefan and Caroline show up tonight there is food for them to eat." She explained slowly. She stood up and tied her robe around her body causing Damon to scowl.

"The least you could do is cook the turkey naked, that would make me happy." He muttered.

"Have you ever cooked a turkey naked?" Elena asked staring at him like he sprouted horns or something.

"No." He admitted.

"Neither have I, and I'm not going to start now." Elena told him before striding out of the room.

"Damn it." He muttered when she disappeared.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~DE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How much do you want to bet, that when we get there tonight we won't have dinner to eat?" Stefan asked his wife of two years.

"Well considering it is their anniversary tonight, it's quite likely. Who gets married on Christmas Eve anyways? Seriously." Caroline demanded.

"Apparently my brother and your best friend." Stefan answered dryly.

"Apparently. They just had to try and outdo us. We had an absolutely beautiful wedding, so they had to steal our thunder a little over a year later and elope on Christmas Eve; before I might coming to a Christmas party with everyone we know and announcing it." Caroline ranted.

"Well I'm happy they found each other though. I've never seen my brother happier, Elena neither." Stefan mentioned, wrapping his arm around his wife's waist.

"So how much do you want to bet that they're going to ruin the turkey?" Caroline asked going back to the previous conversation.

"I don't think they will, Elena takes these things very seriously and she wouldn't let Damon's overactive libido ruin it." Stefan argued.

"But you're not taking into account Elena's overactive libido either." Caroline returned.

"Either way, I bet 20 bucks that the turkey will be in fine form when we get there." Stefan said firmly.

"I will enjoy taking your money honey." Caroline replied leaning in and kissing his cheek.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~DE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damon came downstairs a little while later and leaned on the wall watching Elena slide the turkey into the oven after basting it for the first time. She had a small smile on her face and her hair was still mussed up from all the sex they had been having.

"You're kind of beautiful." He whispered. She turned around to face him and flashed him a quick smile.

"You're not so bad to look at either." She responded. She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head on his chest.

"Happy anniversary." He whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"Happy anniversary." She repeated.

"So what can I help with?" He asked pulling away from her, eager to help his wife with Christmas dinner.

"You can start making the stuffing while I make a salad." She suggested.

"Yes, ma'am." He mock saluted her and walked over the the bowl that she had started drying bread out in yesterday. Elena hummed lightly to herself as she chopped lettuce and other vegetables. She combined all the vegetables into a bowl and tossed it all together before adding a small amount of cheese to make the salad more interesting.

"How's it going over there?" Elena asked.

"Fine." He answered as he put the almost done stuffing into a casserole dish.

"Do you want to put the stuffing in the turkey?"Elena asked.

"Yeah. I'm not used to this Christmas dinner thing." Damon admitted.

"Well you'll get there baby. You've got me now." She whispered.

"I'm a lucky man." Damon murmured.

"Yes you are, and don't you ever forget it." Elena reminded him.

"Don't worry I won't, I've been waiting over 170 years for you Miss Gilbert." He told her.

"I think you mean Mrs. Salvatore." She corrected him.

"Right, my mistake." He said grinning.

"Yes your mistake." She quipped as she sidled closer to him. Reflexively his hands went to her hips and massaged small circles into them. "We have to focus." Elena insisted backing out of his embrace.

"Fine, I know you're right. You always are." He sighed.

They worked in companionable silence for a while until there was nothing left to do but wait for the turkey to finish.

"I'm exhausted." Elena sighed leaning against the island counter.

"I'm exhausted too. Watching you work was tiring." He noted, neatly dodging a balled up fist from his wife. "Abuse." He whined.

"You haven't seen abuse yet." She warned him.

"I will have to watch my back around you." He realized.

"Yes you will. We have about 30 minutes before the turkey is done so I'm going to relax for a few minutes." She stated, walking into the living room and collapsing down onto the couch. Damon followed her into the room and sank down beside her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and she leaned into his side. She curled her legs up underneath her and laid her head on his chest. He titled her chin up and kissed her sweetly. The kiss heated up and soon his tongue was duelling with hers. He shifted slightly on the couch and was hovering over her, lying in between her spread thighs. She raked her fingernails down his back and he hissed when the smell of his own blood invaded his nostrils.

"Elena." He breathed. He absolutely loved it when she got rough like that. He adored it when she let him bite her, and couldn't get past how great it felt when she was drinking from him. Logically, he knew they didn't have the time for something like that at the moment, but later maybe. He ground his cloth covered erection into her centre and she jerked her hips up.

"I need you inside me." She pleaded, desperate for skin on skin contact with her husband. He parted her robe so he could feast his gaze on her incredible body while she wrestled with his drawstring pants trying to release his impressive length.

"I need you inside me. Please." She begged. He helped her push his pants down enough to completely free his length. He groaned when it fell between her folds as she bit her lip and choked out a sigh of pleasure.

"So wet." He breathed as he slowly started moving back and forth without ever fully entering her.

"I need you inside... NOW." She insisted, her voice getting shriller and shriller the more turned on she got. He rolled them over so she was on top of him.

"Take it then." He told her. She rolled her eyes and positioned herself over him and slid down, letting him fully enter her. She wasted no time and started moving almost immediately. She arched her back and the tips of her hair tickled his thighs as she moved along his length. She worked with a single minded need for orgasm, focusing only on the one goal.

"Shit..." He breathed when she dropped down on him forcefully.

"Just like that..." She sighed when he hit that spot deep inside her. He gripped her hips, his grip slightly too tight but she couldn't bring herself to care. After just three more thrusts she came screaming his name at the top of her lungs, and he followed directly after her. She slumped against him and he traced random shapes along her spine as she recovered.

"We still have time... wanna do it again?" He asked moments later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~DE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Damon! Oh my God." Elena screeched running into the kitchen where the smell of burning poultry was filling the house.

"That is so not my fault." Damon stated following her into the kitchen.

"Yes it is... you... you... you... seduced me." Elena screeched.

"That's what I do Elena, you didn't have to respond, and it wasn't my fault you would not stop coming for me. Also please keep in mind that you were in control. You were on top." He muttered as he watched her pull the charred turkey from the oven with a scowl on her face.

"This is all your fault." She screeched dumping the turkey into the sink angrily.

"So what, that just means we have to go grab some dinner somewhere else." Damon said nonchalance oozing from his voice.

"You don't get it, Stefan and Caroline are going to be here any minute." Elena ranted, rushing up the stairs.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"I have to get dressed, I can't greet Stefan and Caroline only wearing my robe." She raved.

"I'm not really sorry. This is how an anniversary is meant to be spent." He said unapologetic.

"I am not speaking to you right now." She told him as she dug through the closet looking for something to wear. He walked over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of jeans and a black collared shirt, slipping them both on before walking back into the closet where Elena was zipping up a red dress.

"Stefan and Caroline are here." He told her.

"They didn't ring the doorbell yet." She stated petulantly.

"Baby, remember I'm a vampire, I heard the car pull up." He muttered sarcastically.

"I'm not speaking to you. This is all your fault." She insisted as she walked downstairs.

"You were just as much of a willing participant during that as I was." He reminded her, following her downstairs to the front door.

"It's your responsibility to keep your senses open Damon. I'm only human." She snarled as she opened the door to an overly smug Caroline and a disappointed Stefan. Caroline had her hand out clearly itching for him to place something into it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~DE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I so called that. I so did." Caroline bragged as the group of four was seated at the Grille.

"Yes and I already gave you your 20 bucks so you can stop bragging anytime." Stefan insisted.

"I don't want to. I so called that we were going to be eating dinner at the Grill because Elena can't keep her hands off of her husband." Caroline laughed.

"Actually Care, it's him who can't keep his hands off of me." Elena corrected still glaring at Damon.

"And I still maintain that it wasn't my fault." Damon added on.

"Of course it wasn't. It's never your fault that you have the libido of a 16 year old boy and you can't keep your hands off of me." Elena spat dryly.

"I married you, I'm not supposed to keep my hands of of you." Damon retorted.

"It all ended up fine either way. The Grill has excellent turkey. I won the bet against Stefan, so its all good. You two can go back to having hot, steamy, sweaty sex after dinner." Caroline cut in trying to ease the tension.

"I agree with Blondie. I'm liking the suggestion of hot, steamy, sweaty sex." Damon agreed.

"I'm sure you are." Elena muttered. The rest of dinner went by like that, Elena not speaking to Damon and Damon finding it somewhat amusing.

When they walked into the house after dinner, Elena walked straight upstairs. Damon followed behind her whistling.

"Would you stop that?" She demanded.

"Nah. So why are you so pissed about the turkey?" He asked, his blue eyes glinting.

"I just think that the fact that we managed to ruin an entire turkey is reason enough to be mad." Elena responded.

"I warned you, it's our anniversary. You had to know something like that was going to happen." He told her, tilting her chin

up with his finger.

"I know, I knew it would happen. I knew that you would manage to consume me again, and I would forget all about my surroundings. I just wish the turkey wasn't in the oven when you made me lose control like that." Elena admitted.

"So many there's a chance that you're not really mad at me, but you're mad at yourself too?" Damon clarified with a small smirk on his face.

"Maybe." Elena allowed.

"Just so you know, I happen to know one fool proof way to ease tension... and this time there's no turkey in the oven to interrupt us..." He hinted, running his hands down her arms slowly.

"Damon... sex is what got us into this mess." Elena sighed, unable to deny that she wanted it.

"Sex has gotten us into lots of messes in the past few years Elena. But its also fixed quite a few messes too if I remember correctly." Damon reminded her.

"I know, but I want to be mad at you for ruining the turkey." She whined.

"_I_ didn't ruin the turkey, _WE_ ruined the turkey. I happen to remember that it was you who couldn't stop coming for me. If you would have stopped after one orgasm, then the turkey would have survived. But no, instead you went for 5." He recapped for her.

"It's not my fault that you are insanely good at sex." Elena defended herself.

"That I am. I am insanely good at sex." Damon spoke cockily. He had the smuggest look ever on his face and Elena couldn't decide if she wanted to kiss it or smack it off his handsome face.

"Ugh fine... you're forgiven. Is it too much to ask to be mad at you for a while?" She demanded after being forced to look into his blue depths for several moments.

"The only way you can be mad at me is if you are intending on taking it out on me in bed." He alerted her.

"I don't like rough sex." Elena told him.

"Exactly, so there you go... no anger in this house." He murmured while shaking his index finger at her. She fought back a smile, but felt her lips twitch up against her will.

"You're smiling... I'm forgiven." Damon cheered.

"You're only forgiven if you make me come five more times." She decided.

"Alright, now you're talking." Damon cheered excitedly.


End file.
